A year ago, I had the privilege of joining three other autistic women to film a segment for a Channel 4 documentary.
I realised it was okay to work with what I have, rather than trying to work with what other people expected me to have.
Quiet carriages are absolutely a lifeline for disabled people like myself. Some days they are the only reason I have the emotional energy to succeed at work.
The definition of success seems to depend very much on the frame that you're looking at it through. And the frame of my 'success' is the neurotypical gaze.
My brain is juggling so many things, and if you throw something else at me without warning, the likelihood is that I'm going to miss it altogether or drop it before its first rotation is complete.
These characters were my very own line-up of autistic headcanons. And I identified more with them than I did with the very few characters who were written as 'autistic' from the beginning.
My journey is my journey alone- but I hope that there are some elements of what I have learned that can help.
I don't remember much of my childhood. Is this an 'autism' thing, or an 'everyone else experiences this but I can't read or replicate their bullshit' thing?
I have a major personal conundrum: I enjoy spending time with people I like, but I have a severely limited supply of social energy to do so.
I didn't want to be asexual. I didn't realise that I didn't have to relinquish my beloved bisexual identity in order to make some space for this little bit of ace.