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Queerly Autistic Resources

My book, Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide for LGBTQIA+ Teens on the Spectrum, contains links throughout to books, websites and YouTube videos that might be helpful to explore the topics further, as well as information on how to get in touch with organisations that may be able to help you in a crisis. As a) reading out urls doesn’t translate well to audiobook format and b) new books come out and website links change or become outdated, I’ve compiled all those resources here for easy access and to ensure people have the most updated version of the information contained in the book.

I hope you find this useful.

What is LGBTQIA+?

Books

The A–Z of Gender and Sexuality: From Ace to Ze by Morgan Lev Edward Holleb

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

Links

Stonewall: www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/faqs-and-glossary/glossary-terms

Human Rights Campaign: www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms

Amnesty USA: www.amnestyusa.org/pdfs/toolkit_LGBTglossary.pdf

YouTube Videos

The ABC’s of LGBT+ Series by Ash Hardell: http://bit.do/ABCsOfLGBT

In this series, which has been running for several years, Ash runs
through different terms, definitions and identities that can be
found in the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of these definitions
change over the years, as knowledge of these things has evolved,
so it’s an excellent look at both what words mean and what it’s like
to learn new things about the words we use.

Figuring It Out: Sexuality

Books

Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes and Meredith E. Maroney

Queer: A Graphic History by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Langford

Links

ReachOut: https://au.reachout.com/articles/understanding-yoursexuality

Childline: www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/ sexual-identity/sexual-orientation

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN): http://www. asexuality.org/?q=general.html

YouTube Videos

Having Pride by Thomas Sanders: http://bit.do/Having-Pride

End of Pride Month Q & Gay by Thomas Sanders: http://bit.do/Q-And-Gay

Thomas himself identifies as gay, but in this series, and his other videos, he features a lot of his friends who talk about their different experiences with gender and sexuality.

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including common questions around figuring out sexuality (e.g. ‘This is something that’s happened to me, does it mean I’m bisexual?’). It includes sections on being gay, lesbian, bisexual and asexual, and a general section on sexuality. You can find the questions you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey by Vesper (Queer as
Cat): http://bit.do/The-Neverending-Queery

In this video, Vesper goes back through old YouTube videos and uses them to document the last decade of their journey with gender and sexuality. It includes a look at changing labels, evolving identities and the ongoing process of figuring stuff out.

Basically I’m Gay by Daniel Howell: http://bit.do/Basically-Im-Gay

In this video, Dan talks about the journey to figuring out his
sexuality, his relationship with different labels and how he got to
where he is now

Realising We’re Gay by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard: http://bit.do/Realising-Were-Gay

In this video, Jessica and her wife Claudia talk about how they realized they were gay.

Figuring It Out: Gender

The Gender Unicorn: https://transstudent.org/gender/

Books

Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes and Meredith E. Maroney

Trans Teen Survival Guide by Owl and Fox Fisher

Uncomfortable Labels: My Life As A Gay Autistic Trans Woman by Laura Kate Dale

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Langford

Links

Mermaids: https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/young-people

Childline: http://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/

ReachOut: https://au.reachout.com/articles/everything-you-need-to-know-about-gender


YouTube Videos

Having Pride by Thomas Sanders: http://bit.do/Having-Pride

End of Pride Month Q & Gay by Thomas Sanders: http://bit.do/Q-And-Gay

Thomas himself identifies as gay, but in this series, and his other videos, he features a lot of his friends who talk about their different experiences with gender and sexuality.

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including common questions around figuring out sexuality (e.g. ‘This is something that’s happened to me, does it mean I’m bisexual?’). It includes sections on being gay, lesbian, bisexual and asexual, and a general section on sexuality. You can find the questions you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey by Vesper (Queer as
Cat): http://bit.do/The-Neverending-Queery

In this video, Vesper goes back through old YouTube videos and uses them to document the last decade of their journey with gender and sexuality. It includes a look at changing labels, evolving identities and the ongoing process of figuring stuff out.

How I Knew I Was Transgender by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/How-I-Knew-I-Was-Transgender

Gender Dysphoria Before & After Transitioning by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/Gender-Dysphoria

Just Gender Dysphoria Things by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/Just-Gender-Dysphoria-Things

In these videos, Jamie talks about how he figured out that he is transgender, and also goes into more detail about the ways that gender dysphoria can be experienced.

My Genderation Documentary Films by My Genderation: http://bit.
do/My-Genderation


A playlist of short documentaries by trans filmmaking project My Genderation featuring a number of different trans people, of all ages and identities, talking about their lives and their experiences.

Coming Out

Books

Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes and Meredith E. Maroney

Trans Teen Survival Guide by Owl and Fox Fisher

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Langford

Links

Gendered Intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/

YouTube Videos

Basically I’m Gay by Daniel Howell: http://bit.do/Basically-Im-Gay

In this video, Dan talks about the journey to figuring out his sexuality, his relationship with different labels and how he got to where he is now.

Coming Out (Elle Mills Style) by Elle Mills: http://bit.do/Coming-Out-Elle-Mills

Elle comes out as bisexual to her friends by getting them to guess who she has a crush on and then revealing that it’s a woman. She then decorates the outside of her house in rainbow colours in order to come out to her family.

I’m Gay by Eugene Lee Yang: http://bit.do/Im-Gay-Eugene

Eugene comes out in a beautifully shot and choreographed music video detailing his journey.

Coming Out as Transgender to my Sisters In-Law by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/Coming-Out-As-Trans

Ways to Come Out as Transgender by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/Ways-To-Come-Out-As-Transgender

In the first video, Jamie and his fiancée, Shaaba, tell Shaaba’s young sisters that Jamie is transgender, what that means, and answer any questions they have. It’s lovely. In the second video, Jamie looks at fun ways to come out as trans.

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including how to come out as trans to your family. You can find the questions you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

Places to stay

AKT (formerly The Albert Kennedy Trust) – An organization specifically
designed to combat LGBTQIA+ homelessness

Phone:

Online support (lets you speak to a digital mentor):

Nightstop – An organization that tries to prevent homelessness in young people through community hosting

Phone:

Finding local support:

The Runaway Helpline – An organization to support people who have run away, or who are thinking of running away

Phone:

Email:

Online chat:

Shelter – An organization offering support and advice on all aspects of
housing

Phone:

Online support:

Face-to-face support:

Other useful numbers:

Autistic and LGBTQIA+

TwainbowA support group for autistic LGBTQIA+ people, with information and resources on their website (www.twainbow.org).

Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes and Meredith R. Maroney: a book bringing together a collection of narratives from people who identify as LGBTQIA+ and autistic.

Under A Double Rainbow: Autism and LGBTQIA+ by Maxfield Sparrow: an article about people who are autistic and LGBTQIA+, including resources, tips for parents/carers and personal experiences

Safety

Stonewall – A campaigning organization for the equality of LGBT people
across Britain

Online information service:

Advice on coming out:

Switchboard – an LGBTQIA+ specific helpline

Phone:

Live chat:

Mermaids – An organization offering support to young people who are trans, gender variant, or questioning their gender

Phone:

Email:

Online chat:

Youth forum:

Childline – A counselling service for children and young people in the UK provided by the NSPCC

Phone:

Online chat:

Art box:

Message boards:

Advice on coming out:

Transitioning

Books

Trans Teen Survival Guide by Owl and Fox Fisher

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Langford

Transgender 101: A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue by Nicholas M. Teich

Links

Gendered Intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/transitioning

Mermaids: https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/young-people/resources-for-young-people

NHS: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/treatment

Gender Census: https://gendercensus.com/

Nonbinary Wiki: https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Main_Page

Changing your name: (http://www.legal-deedpolls.co.uk/)

Changing your passport: http://www.gov.uk/ changing-passport-information

Changing your driving licence: http://www.gov.uk/change-name-driving-licence

Guidance on changing your name/gender with the Department of Work and Pensions: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/transitioning/docs/depwork

Guidance on changing your name/gender on documents: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/transitioning/docs

Template letter to request to change your gender marker on your medical records: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/transitioning/docs/passport/doctorsletter

Guidance for trans people on the tests and screenings you may need (which you may have to keep track of after changing your gender marker, as you may not get the right updates): https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/nhs-population-screening-information-for-transgender-people/nhs-population-screening-information-for-trans-people

Information on autism and gender identity that may be useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/autism-and-gender-identity

Campaigners and organizations are still fighting for changes to the Gender Recognition Act:

YouTube Videos

FTM Outro || Transition Start to Finish by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/FTM-Outro

Trans Guys Comparing Transitions ft. Noah Finnce by Jammidodger: http://bit.do/Trans-Guys-Comparing-Transitions

In the first video, Jamie looks back from the beginning of his transition to the present, including all the changes that took place along the way. In the second video, Jamie and Noah compare their experiences with transitioning. Jamie has lots of videos on his channel detailing his experiences with hormones and various surgeries

I’m Transgender Playlist by Mathilda Hogberg: http://bit.do/Im-Transgender

In this playlist, there are a lot of videos where Mathilda talks about her experiences with transitioning, what it’s like to be on hormones, surgeries and coming out to people as trans after transitioning.

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including common questions around transitioning, binding, pronouns and attending gender identity clinics. You can find the questions you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

There are lots of other YouTube videos about transitioning, but be aware: if you search ‘transitioning’, there are a lot of videos about detransitioning, and this may give you the impression that detransitioning is common. While the experiences of detransitioners are real and valid, they are not the experiences of the majority of people who transition. The number of videos you find does not necessarily equal the percentage of trans people who have those experiences.

Information on autism and gender that might be useful to share with professionals whilst transitioning

The National Autistic Society has a comprehensive webpage on what autism is, what autistic people might experience, and what autism isn’t: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

The National Autistic Society also has a page on autism and gender identity: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/autism-and-gender-identity

Wenn Lawson, a trans autistic man and researcher of 20 years, has several books published, and also gave an interview about his experiences of gender and autism, including advice for professionals: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-wenn-lawson)

Jay Avery, a non-binary autistic writer and activist, wrote a piece for the Huffington Post about why being autistic doesn’t mean you aren’t trans (including links to studies and information that might be helpful): www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jay-avery/trans-autism_b_14418218.html

Miscellaneous

Example document to change your name by deed poll:

I [old name] of [your address] have given up my name [old name]
and have adopted for all purposes the name [new name].

Signed as a deed on [date] as [old name] and [new name] in the
presence of [witness 1 name] of [witness 1 address], and [witness 2
name] of [witness 2 address].

[your new signature], [your old signature]

[witness 1 signature], [witness 2 signature]

LGBTQIA+ Relationships and Friendships

Books

Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes and Meredith E. Maroney

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Langford

Doing It! Let’s Talk About Sex by Hannah Witton (this is primarily about sex, but it has some good information about healthy relationships and spotting abuse)

YouTube Videos

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including common questions around relationships and friendships if you’re LGBTQIA+. You can find the questions you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

Resources if you’re in an abusive relationship

Galop – An organization supporting LGBTQIA+ people who have experienced hate crime, domestic abuse or sexual violence

Website:

Phone:

Email:

Online form:

Webchat:

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline – Run by Refuge, this is a support service for women and children who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence

Website:

Phone:

Online chat:

Send a message:

Respect – An advice and support line for men who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence

Website:

Phone:

Webchat:

Email:

Childline – A counselling service for children and young people in the UK provided by the NSPCC

Phone:

Online chat:

Art box:

Message boards:

Sex

Books

Doing It! Let’s Talk About Sex by Hannah Witton

Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism by Eva A. Mendes and Meredith E. Maroney

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Langford

Links

LGBT Foundation: http://lgbt.foundation/sexualhealth (although it is based in Manchester, the online advice is helpful)

clinicQ: https://cliniq.org.uk (a queer inclusive trans-led wellbeing and sexual health service)

Stonewall: www.stonewall.org.uk/category/sexual-health (a list of organizations and websites that might be helpful)

The National Autistic Society: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/sex-education (this is aimed at parents and carers, but it still has some useful information)

Gendered Intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/
kip/sexualhealth


Autism and Sexual Vulnerability – One Woman’s Story, article on Neuroclastic: https://neuroclastic.com/2019/11/22/autism-andsexual-vulnerability-one-womans-story

No, Autistic People Are not Sexless, article by Violet Fenn: https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/10/no-autistic-people-are-not-sexless-oursex-lives-are-as-varied-as-anyones-7141226

YouTube Videos

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including having sex as an LGBTQIA+ person. You can find the question you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

Disability, Sex, Relationships and Dating Roundtable by Hannah Witton: http://bit.do/Disability-Sex-Relationships-and-Dating

A roundtable hosted by Hannah Witton, featuring a frank and relaxed discussion with disabled people on their experiences with sex, relationships and dating. Hannah’s channel is dedicated to talking about sex, relationships and disability – if there’s something you want to know, Hannah will probably have a video on it! You can find her channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/hannahgirasol.

Autism and Sexuality by Purple Ella: http://bit.do/Autism-And-Sexuality

A discussion about autism and sexuality, including how being autistic and having sensory issues can impact sex and relationships.

Sex; Trauma, Disabled and Autistic by Agony Autie: http://bit.do/Sex-Trauma-Disabled-Autistic

A very frank and personal discussion of one woman’s experiences as a queer, disabled, autistic person navigating sex and trauma. It includes talking about sex after trauma, communicating with sexual partners and different ways of looking at sex. There are discussions of abuse, assault and trauma, so it comes with a trigger warning.

Sexual abuse

Galop – An organization supporting LGBTQIA+ people who have experienced hate crime, domestic abuse or sexual violence

Website:

Phone:

Email:

Online form:

Webchat:

Rape Crisis – A network of independent rape crisis centres for women and girls aged 16+ across the country

Website:

Phone:

Live chat:

Find a local rape crisis centre:

Survivors UK – A service for male survivors of sexual abuse and rape. An inclusive service for anyone who identifies as male, trans, non-binary, has identified as male in the past, or anyone who feels that they are the right fit for them

Website:

Phone:

Email:

Online chat:

Childline – A counselling service for children and young people in the UK provided by the NSPCC

Phone:

Online chat:

Art box:

Message boards:

Out and About: LGBTQIA+ Spaces

Books

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

Links

Stonewall: http://www.stonewall.org.uk/category/youth-groups (list of groups for young LGBTQIA+ people)

Stonewall: http://www.stonewall.org.uk/setting-lgbt-youth-group (a guide for setting up your own youth group)

The Proud Trust: www.theproudtrust.org/for-young-people/lgbt-youth-groups/where-can-i-find-a-youth-group (search engine to find LGBTQIA+ youth groups in your area)

Gendered Intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/transidentities/orgs (list of groups for young trans people)

LGBT Chat: www.lgbtchat.net

Childnet: http://www.childnet.com (information to help you stay safe on the internet)

BiPride: https://biprideuk.org/2020/05/26/event-announcement-bi-fi-festival/ (Bi-Fi Virtual Pride that took place in 2020)

YouTube videos

Does Pride Exclude Disabled People? by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard: http://bit.do/Does-Pride-Exclude-Disabled-People

In this video, Jessica discusses the issues that disabled people can face at Pride and at Pride events, as well as the issues disabled people can face trying to find community groups and events. She also discusses ways in which LGBTQIA+ spaces can do better to include disabled people.

Making Queer Spaces Accessible by The AmBIssadors: http://bit.do/Making-Queer-Spaces-Accessible

I am a guest in this video, talking with two other bisexual activists about how we can make LGBTQIA+ spaces more accessible for autistic people (as well as more accessible for other disabled people).

Dealing with Bullying, Bigotry and Injustice

Books

Trans Teen Survival Guide by Owl and Fox Fisher

LGBTQ: The Survival Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel Madrone

Resist!: How to Be an Activist in the Age of Defiance by Michael Segalov

Links

Gendered Intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/bullying

Stonewall: www.stonewall.org.uk/resources-disabled-lgbt-peopleand-lgbt-people-accessibility-needs

National Bullying Helpline: www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk

YouTube videos

The Sex Education You Never Had *PRIDE EDITION* by Ellbat: http://bit.do/Sex-Education-You-Never-Had

In this hour-long video, Ellbat (with an appearance by Fox Fisher) answers lots of questions about all things LGBTQIA+, including how to deal with bullying and prejudice. You can find the questions you need answering, and what time they appear in the video, in the description box for easy access to information.

Reasons to Smile Playlist by Thomas Sanders: http://bit.do/Reasons-To-Smile

This is the most important playlist that I have. So I’m giving it to you. This playlist is a part of my post-meltdown and mental health plan. I have it on alert on my phone to remind me to watch it whenever I’m struggling. It’s a brilliant, happy mix of all the good things that are happening in the world: cute pictures and jokes, but also victories for activists, steps forward for LGBTQIA+ rights, and a reminder it’s worth it to keep fighting. It’s the ultimate self-care and the ultimate inspiration. A reminder to never give up and to never stop being you.

If you have any resources that you know of, any links you find useful, any books you’ve read, any YouTubers you follow etc. that you think should be added here, please let me know in the comments.

If any links provided here are broken, please also let me know and I’ll get them fixed or replaced.


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