Category: me

A year ago, I had the privilege of joining three other autistic women to film a segment for a Channel 4 documentary.

Because we live in a culture that doesn’t talk about death, I am innately curious. It’s the ultimate unspoken thing -final, unchangeable, ridiculous – that my brain wants to unpack and understand.

The next week (or so) has been bequeathed from hell to challenge me. 

The Liebster Award is designed to encourage connections between bloggers. So let’s get connecting!

As women, we are taught that we must shoulder the emotional burden of being okay. As autistic women, the burden of okayness becomes even heavier. We are always okay. Except when we aren’t.

My mum is and always has been my safe place to fall. And as I get older, I’m becoming more and more aware that some day I won’t have her there. 

He goes through so much and is still the happiest creature. It’s like we were meant to find each other. We both struggle. And we know how to look after each other. 

But why, oh why, was I locked in a toilet doing my ‘calming down’ checklist in the middle of the afternoon? Two words: forced socialisation. 

I’m 26 now, and I still smack myself in the legs when the world gets too much. Do you really want to take that risk? 

Seeing Norbert Neurotypical – with his banking job and his wife and his baby and his mortgage and his vegetable couscous lunch – just makes me feel like a fraud playing at being an adult .