I can feel it physically: hear it, taste it, smell it, see it. Emotional overload is no different to me than sensory overload.
This is an utterly fabulous post, and something I hope to write about myself in the future.
There’s more to my autistic self and experience than the medical model can conceptualize
Note: This piece is about me — and only me — it’s my deeply considered opinion, based on my own personal experience of inhabiting this planet for over half a century. You’re free to believe whatever you like about the true nature of autism. But this is my stance (right now). If you disagree, write a better blog post and tell me about it. 🙂
Lately, I’ve come across a number of bloggers talking about how autism is more than just a “difference” for them. It’s a genuine disability. They suffer from it. They have family members who appear to suffer intensely from it. Autism is the source of tremendous pain and struggle for them and their loved-ones, and there is no way they’re ever going to sanction autism as a “difference”. It’s too disruptive a…
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They never imagine, as they wax lyrical about being able to 'fix' this 'imperfection' in the 'poor children', that there is a big opinionated grown up adult autistic woman absorbing every word with a professional grimace.
Sometimes I want to cover myself in glitter and dance in your sunshine. And sometimes I want to throw my hands over my head and scream until you leave me alone.
I will sing along, I will woop, I will clap, I will beat the arms of my seat - so to be able to both watch and join in this experience, without fear of judgement or backlash, brought a tear to my eye.
I'm scared that, on Friday morning, I will have to talk people down from killing themselves. And I'm scared that I will fail to talk people down from killing themselves.
If I die, take me home to my bed and hold my hand; cuddle me like you've always done, as if bringing me down from a meltdown.